


Inebriated truths

by LotharWinchester



Series: Fallout Snippets/ Shorts [6]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Implied Relationships, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Transphobia, M/M, Not Beta Read, Trans Sole Survivor, Transphobia, author had both internalized phobias heyy, danse trying to do the right thing, drunk conversation, intimacy denial, rebuffed advances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 20:37:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6165994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LotharWinchester/pseuds/LotharWinchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Paladin Danse tries to do the right thing. By Sole and the people in Sanctuary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inebriated truths

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: i don't own fallout 4 or anything fallout bethesda does

Danse had only seen the Sole Survivor like this once. So inebriated he could barely stand and both physically and mentally exhausted.

He couldn’t remember who brought out the bottles of rum and flasks of whiskey but they had all been passed around and shared through the Sanctuary settlers to the point where all available turrets where set and no one was on watch.

He felt like he should be the one standing by the main gate to keep everyone safe but he still sat tense and painfully sober beside the man who had destroyed the Institute and his own son in turn.  Pain slid into his empty stomach as much as the alcohol would have if he’d partaken.  He could relate so wholly to the Survivor- Jefferson’s pain of losing his son to how he’d done the same damn thing when he’d found out he was a synth.  How Jeff had held him as the entire content of his stomach (just alcohol) was forced up his esophagus and into the broken toilet bowl in Listening Post Bravo. Danse felt obligated to stay and watch over the people who had taken him in when they had no cause to.

Jeff slurred several sentences together and it took Danse a moment to realize that the five foot four man wanted him to come back home with him for the night. Several wolf whistles from the group echoed in his skull as he stood and helped the shorter man to his feet.  He had no idea where they stood. They’d shared a bed back when he was still in the Brotherhood in a platonic sense but, in recent days, it had taken more of a romantic turn. 

Danse closed the door softly behind them and helped Jeff out of his shirt. His short brown hair, much like his own, stood at all odds and ends when he pulled the clean fabric over the Vault dweller’s head.  He’d fully intended on leading the man to the bathroom and then to bed. Then he’d take the couch for the night.

“Can I tell you something, Danse?” Jeff whispered and precariously threw his index finger in front of his full lips in a ‘shhh’ motion.

“Of course, Jefferson.”  He swallowed thickly as Jeff pulled his jeans down his legs and kicked them off to the side.  He wasn’t as well defined but Danse could see the muscle in the smaller arms of the Survivor.

“I’m in love with you.”  Where Jeff’s adam’s apple should’ve been bobbed. “I’m in love with you, Landon.” 

Danse allowed his tiny hands to fumble on his bare arms and t shirt until he reached the collar. Both of his gun calloused hands grasped the smooth skin that desperately tried to keep him close.

“Jeff, you’re drunk.”  Danse tensed as Jeff pulled his hands away as if he’d been burned by rads. “Jeff I think-”

“I thought you…”  He huffed as his alcohol addled mind tried to process this new information. “We’ve been sharing a bed. We’ve _kissed_.” The ‘s’ hissed out as he moved to cover the scars on his chest.  “I…”

God, he wanted to tell him everything that had been on his mind since the Glowing Sea but he couldn’t. Jeff wouldn’t remember this in the morning and it was wrong of him to even hold that against him.  The former Paladin exhaled through his nose and picked his former charge’s pants off of the floor. “Jeff, I promise we can talk about this later when you’re sober..”

Whatever else had been on his mind quickly fell away as Jeff kicked off his lime green boxers and stood before him naked as the day he was born.  In the middle of the living room with the possibility anyone could see them through the front window.

“Is it because I don’t have a cock?”  Jeff refused to look away from his scarred face until he answered. “Or do you have feelings for Maxson? Even after everything he’s done?”   _That’s not it Jeff, I promise. Same sex relationships in the Brotherhood weren’t forbidden but were… uncommon._ Danse wanted to say but stood frozen with the shirt and pants clenched tight in his hands.

_Wait, how did he know about Maxson? Was it that obvious?_

When he didn’t answer, a horrified expression replaced his drunken confident smile. “Oh. _Oh_ …” He fumbled to cover himself and backed down the hall towards his bedroom. “

“No. Not that’s not why I’m refusing you right now.” He made sure his voice was firm only to instill the idea. “Please, you’re intoxicated..”

“Have you only been staying with me because I saved you at Bravo?” He ducked into the bathroom and grabbed Danse’s spare shirt off of the sink. “I saved you because it was the right thing to do.  Arthur was wrong and you deserve to live. Deserve to be happy with whomever you end up with. And.. well, I’ve felt this way for a long time.  Before Bravo and before the Glowing Sea clusterfuck. I think… I think it was when you first stood up for me in front of the Brotherhood. Even though I know that was because I proved myself in a fight .”

How long had he been waiting to say something to Jeff? He couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t admired the strength and courage of the man now leaning heavily on the bathroom sink. Why did he shove his feelings down even after Arthur betrayed him?  

“Look,” Jeff exhaled painfully as his injured ribs hit the ceramic basin, “Just forget I said anything and take the bed, okay? I’ll take the couch.”

 _I don’t want to forget._   “Jeff..”

“Please, Danse. Just… goodnight.” Jeff gently rested his hand on Danse’s arm before passing him to go to the kitchen. He pulled down a pot and filled a glass with water and put them both by the couch.

Danse waited until he fell asleep to turn him onto his side and cover him with his Minutemen wool blanket. He stayed up until Jefferson shifted eight hours later and retched into the pot beside him.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Not gonna lie i was a little intoxicated when i wrote this so I do plan on going back and reediting this later.I needed a vent through fanfics again. creative criticism loved since i do need to improve writing and work past my NLD. thanks for reading


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